so tomorrow will be the beginning of my 26th year. i'm not one to celebrate birthdays. i rarely do, and when i have it wasn't my choice. i always feel like my friends and family shouldn't use an occasion to see me. if they want to spend time with me, they should do so on their whim. i usually spend my birthdays thinking too hard, contemplating what i've accomplished and what i haven't this year it came one day early.
i find that as time goes by, you really do get to know yourself better. i am more at ease with my body now than before... (but that doesn't mean i'm 100% happy with it.) i finally know how to fix my hair. i'm actually investing in work appropiate clothes. i am beginning to value a home cooked meal over eating out. at the same time, i appreciate being out and about. nothing else makes me feel quite more alive.
then there are the cons of being a full fledged adult. DEBT.... yeah, it's that bad that i had to capitalize it. i'm also at the age when i'm beginning to care and worry about how big my debt is. no one else is responsible for me now. i must meet deadlines on my own. i must pay for my own food. all my expenses are just that. mine. every mistake i make are just that. mine.
so here i am on the verge of turning 26. i feel younger than i have in years and yet more lost than i have been in years. i have goals i need to reach. i have mistakes that need to be mended. i have debts that need to be paid. i have paths that must be taken. but that's just it isn't. i am still here. despite of my many mistakes and many bottoms i've reached. i have learned to bounce back and go on. i have learned to accept and hold dear. i have learned to forgive and forget. and however long the path..... i am learning to be me.
